What's in a name?

So, what's in a name? The name, specifically, of this blog. "Here." Where is "here," what does it mean, and why?

My favorite poem, and one of my favorite pieces of writing across all genres, is the Medieval Persian poet Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat. Particularly, the portion of this work included in The Portable Atheist, edited by Christopher Hitchens (one of my favorite writers, as well). This poem is, in short, how I wanted to live my life, and how I wanted to think about my life. A stanza to demonstrate:

Men talk of heaven,--there is no heaven but here;
Men talk of hell,--there is no hell but here;
Men of hereafters talk, and future lives,--
O love, there is no other life--but here.

This atheistic sentiment reminds me of my constant struggle with contentment. For as long as I can remember, I have looked forward--not to an afterlife as I have no belief in it, but ahead in my own life. I have planned for the future, only to meet it, when it becomes my present, with discontent, dissatisfaction, and longing for something more. I have made stipulations starting with the words, "I'll be happy when..." and then filled them followed them with: I move to Chicago, when I transfer colleges, when I graduate college, when I have a job, when I got to grad school, when I have money in savings...

The list goes on.

Well.

It did. Now, it ends.

Last year was the worst year of my life. In hindsight, it might become the best, as it was the catalyst and the beginning of the rest of my life, which, as it turns out, is full of joy and wonder in the present. I have never been this happy before. I have moments of real contentment. And I realize more and more each day, as I marvel at who I am and where I am today versus who I was before last year, that I should savor this. I should savor life. This joy is not to be wasted.

So what can I do to enhance this joy? And what was preventing me from feeling joy before? These are questions I wrestle with each day. So, in an effort to be my most authentic self, to become the best version of myself that I can be, and to really feel each day, I made some changes. I'm trying to be very aware of every choice I make. And I hope to catalogue it here.

Go.